An Enlightening Conversation
by Tie-dyed Trickster
Summary: Iruka thought he knew what to expect when he went home to Kakashi after a hard day at the academy. But it turns out that one of his certainties about Kakashi isn't quite as certain as he thought... Mild established KakaIru and slight crack.


AN: This is a companion piece to For The Plot. You can read this without having read For The Plot, but it'll make a bit more sense if you've read that first.

Warnings: Mild KakaIru and slight crack.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and last time I pretended to one of my muses twisted my ear. (folds arms and sulks about the cruelty of muses)

Iruka closed the door to his and Kakashi's home with one foot and a sigh of relief. It had been a long day at school – not only was Konohamaru still convinced that Sexy no Jutsu was an ultimate technique, he'd taught it to Udon and Moegi. And then the three of them had worked together to create a male version of the jutsu after Moegi had complained that it wasn't fair to girls and wouldn't work on them besides. And even all this wouldn't have been such a problem if the three hadn't decided to work on it at recess. In the middle of the playground.

It had taken hours and the entire academy faculty to calm the resulting pandemonium. And there would almost certainly be letters from irate parents about all this.

So, all in all, it was good to be back in the peaceful sanity of his own-

Iruka froze as his foot came down on something stiff and crinkly, then looked to see a balled-up wad of paper on the floor.

…the heck?

Iruka followed the slight trail of crumpled paper to the living room and found Kakashi sitting at the coffee table with his vest and outer shirt off, surrounded by crumpled paper and chewing on the end of a pen through his mask. More paper – as yet uncrumpled – and his entire Icha Icha collection were spread out on the table before him. Iruka sighed and his shoulders slumped. He should really know better by now. He lived with a jounin – sanity was not part of the package.

"Kakashi, please tell me you aren't trying to become Jiraiya's writing apprentice."

Kakashi glanced up at Iruka, then back down at the paper in his hand. "Of course not. You've read my mission reports. I'm not a writer."

A small weight lifted from Iruka's mind. "Well that's a relief, because-"

"I'm trying to figure out the techniques of the Naked Women Clan."

Iruka's mind froze. Just stopped functioning and fused into an immobile mass of non-thought, the calm, serious tone Kakashi had used having been so at odds with what he was saying. "What?"

Kakashi wrote something down on his piece of paper. "They show up at random intervals throughout the series, repeatedly take the protagonist by surprise, and strip him of his clothes and possessions. I am attempting to discover the techniques they use – they could be useful in battle, a quick way to enemy nin."

Iruka stared. "You're serious, aren't you?" he finally managed to choke out.

Kakashi gave him an affronted look. "Of course I am! This could be of great benefit to the village if I can figure it out."

Something in Iruka snapped. "Oh for- Kakashi, the women in that book are _not _shinobi attacking the main character!"

Kakashi looked up at him in obvious confusion. "Of course they are! They always engage in some sort of battle after they've disarmed the hero, and-"

Iruka facepalmed. "They aren't fighting, Kakashi. They're having _sex_."

Kakashi stared at him. "They are not!"

Iruka gave him a level look. "Are."

Kakashi opened his mouth to retort, then narrowed his visible eye and pointed at Iruka with one finger in a 'stay there' gesture. Reaching out with the other hand, he picked up a random book off the table, flipped through it, and began to read silently.

Iruka watched as Kakashi's eye got wider and wider, and a tint of red beg to creep up from under the mask. Iruka raised an eyebrow. "I can see you blushing over your mask, you know."

Kakashi didn't respond, and Iruka began to smirk a bit. "You're not going to be able to read those in public anymore, are you?"

A strangled squeak was his only reply.

Okay, quick note before anyone yells at me because 'Kakashi is smart enough to realize those were sex scenes on his own ages ago'. My reasoning for him not recognizing them for what they were is that Kakashi was still in his 'rule 25 is LAW' phase when he first read Icha Icha, and had no interest in sex at the time. Plus, in this version at least, the sex scenes are thrown in pretty much willy-nilly, and have nothing to do with the actual plot. The rest of the story is very well written, and so Kakashi tried to logic them out as he probably would have at the time – thus, he translated them into some very odd fight scenes in his head. By the time this story takes place, he's so used to seeing them as strange fight scenes that he doesn't question it, and it never occurred to him to look at them another way until Iruka pointed it out to him.


End file.
